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District
18
Taste-Full
of Political Humor Or a Thought
 This
world is full of silly politically minded humor and quotes, help us to
find it and post here to share a smile. webmaster@mesa18.com |
QUOTABLE:
Just be thankful you're not
getting all the government that you are paying for. --Will Rogers |
Oxymoron Definition:
A rhetorical figure of speech in which
incongruous or contradictory terms are combined.
EXAMPLE:
"Oxymoron": Removing the Ten Commandments from the
courthouse while making someone swear to tell the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God... while your
hand is on the Bible.
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"The government is
like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other." (Ronald Reagan) |
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The Government
that robs Peter to pay Paul, can always depend upon the support of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw
"Associate with men of good quality, if you esteem your own
reputation; it's better to be alone than in bad company." --George
Washington
"Life's Tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too
late." -Benjamin Franklin |
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A
fool and his money are soon parted.
The rest of us wait until income tax time.
*********
The average man now lives thirty-one years longer than
he did in 1850.
He has to in order to get his taxes paid. |
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Taxes
Whomever said that truth never hurts never had to fill
out a Form
1040.
There are two types of people who complain about
paying their
income tax. Men and women.
I hate junk mail . . .and that includes the tax forms
they send me.
Q.
Dear DNC and Senator Kerry,
I would first of all like to congratulate Senator Kerry on his
nomination and also thank you for giving me the opportunity to
speak my mind.
I lost my job this past year. When Clinton was president, I
worked in a prosperous enterprise. But in this last year, we had
to close our operations.
Far worse, I lost two of my sons in Bush's evil war in Iraq.
They gave their lives for their country, and for what?
My pain of losing my sons is indescribable. While it is trivial
next to the loss of my sons, I regret to say that I also lost my
homes. I simply had nothing left.
I am a senior citizen with various medical problems. I'm not in
a position where I can begin a new career. I was reduced to the
point where I was homeless, all because of President Bush. And
when the authorities found me, did they have any compassion for
my misfortune and ailments?
No, I was arrested. If I had any money left, I would donate it
to the Democratic party.
If Al Gore had been elected in 2000, I guarantee you, I would
still have a job, a home, and most importantly, my sons!
Regards,
Saddam Hussein
During a recent interview, Prime Minister Tony Blair
of Great
Britain, was quoted giving the following answer to one his
parliament members as to why he believes so much in America and its
President. And does he think they are on the right track?
Blair's reply -- "A simple way to take measure of
a country is to
look at how many want in versus how many want to get out."
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brought
to us
by Jeff Groscost
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The five rules of
Socialism:
1. Don't think
2. If you do think, don't speak
3. If you think and speak, don't write
4. If you think, speak and write, don't sign
5. If you think, speak, write and sign, don't be surprised
Every oak tree
started out as a couple of nuts who stood their
ground. --Anonymous
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brought to us
by Dave Babbitt
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Paul Harvey Riddle:
When
asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten kids got the answer, compared to
17% of Stanford University seniors.
What is greater than
God,
More evil than the
devil,
The poor have it,
The rich need it,
And if you eat it
you'll die?
?
?
?
?
?
Can't think of it,"Nothing"? |
A
recent survey says :
American
workers work the first
three hours of every day just
to pay their taxes.
So that's why we can't get
anything done in the
morning:
We're
government workers!
Wait
This No Joke
Better get back to
work
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Arizona's Grand
Ole'
Party!
Your
political humor here...
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submitted by Matt Tolman
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| Osama
bin Laden released a new videotape Wednesday, shot from his hiding place
in Afghanistan, in which he threatened war against the West. There's no
question it was him. He had a beard, he had a limp, and he had a
California driver's license.
(Argus Hamilton) |
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The
Ant & the Grasshopper submitted by
Jeff Groscost
Then
& Now
Then:
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper
has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
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Now:
MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm
and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up
to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the
ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America
is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and
everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's
house where the news stations film the group singing "We shall
overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God
for the grasshopper's sake.
Tom Daschle & Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview with
Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make
him pay his "fair share".
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs
and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in
a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the
last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which
just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he
doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
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The world is a dangerous place to live; not
because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do
anything about it. ~Albert Einstein~
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite
government program.
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Thoughts:
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Thank
you Mr. Clinton submitted
by Jeff Groscost
President
is a Cowboy? submitted
by Paul Knowles
The
Soldier submitted
by James Patrick Haley II
Pictures
you won't find in the news submitted by John
Pochervina.
You too can share an opinion or
expand on
what we learned at
the meetings or other wise thoughts...
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